The Narcissist Next Door: Understanding the Monster in Your Family, in Your Office, in Your Bed - In Your World

From an award-winning senior writer at Time, an eye-opening exploration of narcissism, how to recognize it, and how to handle it. The odds are good that you know a narcissist-probably a lot of them. The odds are also good that they are intelligent, confident, and articulate-the center of attention. They make you laugh and they make you think. The odds are also that this spell didn't last. Narcissists are everywhere. There are millions of them in the United States alone: entertainers, politicians, business people, your neighbors. Recognizing and understanding them is crucial to your not being overtaken by them, says Jeffrey Kluger, in his provocative new book about this insidious disorder. With insight and wit, Kluger frames the surprising new research on narcissism and explains the complex, exasperating personality disorder. He reveals how narcissism and narcissists affect our lives at work and at home, on the road, and in the halls of government; what to do when we encounter narcissism; and how to neutralize its effects before it's too late. As a Time writer and science editor, Kluger knows how to take science's new ideas and transform them into smart, accessible insights. Highly readable and deeply engaging, this book helps us understand narcissism and narcissists more fully. 06/16/2014. Time magazine editor Kluger analyzes narcissistic personality disorder from a scientific and social perspective to help readers identify and understand narcissists in their lives. He outlines symptoms--including an "unquenchable thirst for admiration," lack of empathy, and sense of entitlement--and the condition's potential causes, whether hereditary or camouflage for secret self-loathing. In the workplace, the narcissist is described as an adept interviewer, "powerfully driven by the prospect of praise and recognition"; they rise quickly through company hierarchies even though they wreak havoc on subordinates, thanks to their charisma and skill at self-promotion. In relationships, they tend to cheat, find partners "expendable," and may always be on the lookout to "trade-up." A chapter on "tribal" narcissism explores the pitfalls of mob mentality, which can be seen in phenomena such as racism, war, and the slightly more benign arena of competitive sports. Kluger provides a wealth of (in)famous examples of the disorder, including Donald Trump's "insatiable hunger to be the largest, loudest, most honkingly conspicuous presence in any room"; Charlie Sheen's effusive confidence; and Sarah Palin's frenzied desperation. Compelling studies investigate the elevated use of first-person pronouns in popular entertainment, narcissistic habits on Facebook profile pages, and a ranking of 39 U.S. presidents on a narcisissm scale. In addition to being informative and engaging, Kluger's account provides some effective tools for dealing with potential narcissists. (Sept.) - Publishers Weekly. 04/01/2014. Though narcissism is not a disorder for which one can easily find statistics, we probably all have narcissists in our lives--people whose extreme sense of self-worth leads to arrogance, envy, exploitation of others, and unrealistic expectations. The chief science writer at Time and author of the New York Times best-selling The Sibling Effect, Kluger knows how to make scientific research accessible to the crowds. So listen up as he explains the latest thinking on this disorder, how it affects us, and what can be done to counter its impact. - Library Journal. 2014-07-30. Time editor at large Kluger (The Sibling Effect: What the Bonds Among Brothers and Sisters Reveal About Us, 2011, etc.) reveals recent scientific findings and age-old chestnuts about every possible breed of narcissist.As the author notes at the beginning of this survey, the behavior was already prevalent long before Narcissus looked into the pond. The narrative is a mix of clinical observations and everyday anecdotes that will be familiar to most readers. Narcissists are everywhere, he writes, from Donald Trump to the date who keeps looking over your shoulder. They exhibit excessive self-admiration and egotism, as well as a medieval sense of noble entitlement. Kluger suggests that by the age of 8, we begin to discern these traits, avoiding them in ourselves and cringing when we see them in others. Although studies have shown that only 1 percent of the general population suffers clinical narcissistic personality disorder, that "is not a stand-alone condition. It's part of the suite of ten personality disorders, which also include paranoid, borderline, histrionic, antisocial, dependent, avoidant, rigid, schizoid, and schizotypal personalities." Many of these smug, empathy-challenged individuals suffer from a significant lack of self-esteem, and they are often the recipients of too much praise and too little love, so validated in everything they do that they are shocked when the praise doesn't keep rolling in like waves. Kluger also examines the role of heredity, and he covers a wide swath of psychological terrain, throwing us food for thought like Lyndon Johnson's exhibitionism; the grievance and grandiosity of Columbine murderers Dylan Klebold and Eric Harris; and the prevalence of narcissism within organized sports, which "ably captures the deep feelings, kabuki rituals and utter pointlessness of tribal competition." The author is nothing if not balanced as he introduces competing theories and allows them full opportunity to speak. An entertaining book of popular psychology. - Kirkus Reviews